The Sports Bartender

MVWJ was bartending at a sports bar. A so-called friend of mine got me the job and I had a lot of fun at first. The bar was owned by a husband (J) and wife (B) and they seemed pretty cool at first. There was an upcoming pool tournament that I would be bartending so I was to get there at 8am to set up and get everything started and the owners would be serving food. I got there five minutes late since the electricity went out that night, and I got yelled at. I apologized profusely and we still had an hour to get ready. As the pool tournament started, it got unbelievably packed. I was making drinks as well as taking food orders. At this point, I could hardly even get out of the bar to bring J the orders. I had to push through all the bodies of people rammed up against the bar and I’m a small girl at 5’5″ and 105 pounds. During this time, I had to act as my own barback as well. With 200+ people, me the only bartender, and no barback, I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

About two hours in, when orders were flying, J screamed at me that I also needed to bring the orders out. I told him that I was having a hard time just bringing him the orders and making the drinks. He told me he didn’t give a shit. I somehow worked six hours doing this non-stop. At long last, I had a break and I grabbed a bottle of water and started drinking. This is when my so-called friend came into the bar, telling me that since I am not doing anything I need to wipe down the bar. I looked at her and told her I just got to drink some water. A regular customer actually told her that I was working my butt off and this was the only time I had a chance to stop. She told him that she’s worked non-stop herself before. He told her, “No you haven’t.” She then started trying to boss me around and I told her I didn’t need her help and she needed to get out of my bar since I was the bartender on duty. This didn’t make her happy.

It was finally the end of my shift and I had everything cleaned up and the owners were back in. My so-called friend came in to work, and as I was sitting there, drinking a beverage, she was on the phone telling me loudly enough so everyone can here that J said if I wasn’t there on the dot tomorrow I would be fired.  So, I did a really crappy thing and quit. Oddly enough, J called me the following summer and asked me to bartend again. I told him straight up that I wasn’t going to put up with the crap I did from last year. He said “okay” and told me I would have a barback every night. Turned out false. I’d close alone at night and walk to my car alone. I was always afraid of getting jumped. On top of that, I was the designated whipping girl. Anything and everything was my fault. I was so happy when J went back to his hometown for a month and his wife took over. During this time, the barback was a known man-whore and slept with every female bartender and most of the regular female customers. I didn’t fall for his charm and I didn’t realize he was a good friend of J.

One night, the barback was playing pool and not helping me. I lost my temper with him and told him he needed to at least help with the ice. On top of that, the two times that I went to the restroom, a drunken regular kept going behind the bar to make her boyfriend a drink. I yelled at her to cut it out or I’d have to kick her out (she was also a good friend of J). The very next day, J came back to town. But the next day I was at the beach and I got a call from J saying they were missing $50 and told me to call him when I found out what happened. So I call the girl I had worked with and she told me she found it and that everything was fine. The following morning J calls me and yells at me for not calling him about the $50. I told him that my co-worker said she found it and was even talking to him when I called. He said that didn’t matter. What mattered was he told me to call him and I didn’t. I apologized, again.

The next day I went into work just to get fired. He told me that several “people” claimed I had a free for all at the bar the day before, meaning I let everyone behind the bar to make drinks. I told him the only person who got behind there was the drunken regular customer and I even gave her a warning. He said he didn’t care. It was what he heard. He even said that he heard I was always late. Which I was not. I asked what proof he had. He said it didn’t matter, it was what some people told him. I told him I wasn’t going anywhere without payment for having wasted gas driving there when he could have called me and told me. He did give me some money. What happened next was shocking. He moved back to his hometown because he and the wife were getting a divorce. The wife took over for a month only to burn the place down in an attempt to get the insurance money. The last anyone heard from her she was on the run to Florida.

Comments (27)

TedOctober 6th, 2010 at 9:24 am

This is all your fault for coming back to that job. Not to mention staying once you found out it was STILL just as crappy. I don’t understand why people take a terrible job, find out that it is even more terrible than expected and then stay! What, there wasn’t a single menial labor/no skills necessary job within 1000 miles?

MeshellOctober 6th, 2010 at 9:33 am

Yes, it was all her fault for the bar being mismanaged while looking for another job and not getting hired due to her “lack of qualifications.”

Just saying that victim blaming makes you look like an ass. Yes, she chose to stay on, but you don’t know why nor should you assume she was doing nothing. Assumptions reflect more on you than the OP.

TedOctober 6th, 2010 at 9:44 am

“while looking for another job and not getting hired due to her “lack of qualifications.”

Where does it say that? I only go off the information presented… unlike certain other people… And she was obviously qualified to tend bar, go somewhere else. Take some responsibility for your own life and happiness.

MMMichelleOctober 6th, 2010 at 9:54 am

You went back? After you said you will not put up with more bullshit if it comes you way, you stayed? When they open a bar in Florida you going to try it once again?

TanekOctober 6th, 2010 at 10:36 am

I’m really confused.

You hated the job so much that you quit. Then you came back to it and hated it even more, but didn’t quit?

AndrewOctober 6th, 2010 at 11:54 am

Oh jeez. I can understand the allure of the money & everything but after that 1st day, I would have been done. And after all that other stuff? Done then for sure. Granted, I don’t know what your financial situation at the time was so maybe quitting wasn’t an option but sometimes self-respect & self-preservation is more important than money.

OPOctober 6th, 2010 at 12:07 pm

Ok, let me clarify. J called and asked me to work because I brought in a lot of customers. He promised to not go on his power trip so I agreed to work there again. The money was good and it helped with school. When he started his crap again he suddenly went to back to his home town and things became a lot better. It was when he suddenly came back that he fired me for no reason. And no they are not opening up a bar in Florida. The wife was last heard of running to Florida because she set the bar on fire.

OPOctober 6th, 2010 at 12:09 pm

Let me add that when J wasn’t around it was a really fun place to work. And Meshell was correct. I was looking for another job but it was hard finding another bartending job with only 2 summers of bartending under my belt.

Frau BlucherOctober 6th, 2010 at 12:24 pm

OP, that’s understandable, but I don’t get why you not only went back after that abuse and stayed. Maybe you have a higher tolerance than i do. Anyone treats me like that, I’m done. There are other bars.

OPOctober 6th, 2010 at 12:31 pm

Yeah, there are other bars and that’s why I moved across the lake to the city and got a job at a nice bar there. But I had to move and transfer schools. The college I went to had very limited work and most students had mommy and daddy’s help.

TMSOctober 6th, 2010 at 12:32 pm

Maybe it wasn’t an option for you, but I know if I had quit a job because of the kind of crap you had to go through, I would have laughed in his face had he asked me to come back. Then gone through the whole laundry list of why I would never work for him again. Just one question, did your so-called friend also work at this bar too?

Just as an aside don’t you just love how most of the VWD/VWR/VWJ stories almost always start off with “he/she/the boss seemed nice/cool/fun at first…” and then snowballs as everything goes downhill?

OPOctober 6th, 2010 at 12:36 pm

Yeah, I had several friends working that that bar. And most jobs start of decent then go to crap. How else would places get employees?

I wanted to just up and quit again but my parents and friends told me to stick it out until I found something else because it looks bad on your resume if you just up and quit… This was a learning experience. If I’m treated like crap, I leave.

TedOctober 7th, 2010 at 8:10 am

AHAHAHAHAHA… “on your resume…” AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

OPOctober 7th, 2010 at 10:47 am

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Ted. I know. But I was 22 and putting myself through school. I believed my dad when he was so adament that if I quit I would not find a job. He honestly told me that if you quit without a two weeks notice they will not hire you because it makes you look very unfaithful and you want every job as a reference. Blame it on youth and a father who doesn’t know much.

SurrealianOctober 7th, 2010 at 11:34 am

Ted, is there any reason why you are being such a dick? It’s perfectly reasonable for the OP to look for a job while sucking up the crappy work situation. And it does not look good in an interview to have gaps in your work experience or to have just up and quit a job.

I agree with Meshell, you blaming the victim here. The girl was 22 when this happened and her boss agreed to not put her through that crap but seemed to decided to pick her out to be the whipping girl. Sure, she should have quit there but when he left she said the work place was far better. It’s not like some people can just quit and find another job where the make the same amount. She was in school and in some college towns, it’s very hard to find a decent job.

OP, you aren’t all to blame here. You seem/seemed young and naive. Like you had said, it was a learning experience. It still is best to look for a job before just up and quitting though. You were trying to build your work experience so I really can’t blame you here. Don’t listen to Ted or the others that say just to quit. It really does not reflect well on you but some employers are understanding. Good for you for trying to stick it out while trying to find another job. I’m surprised with how high and mighty many of these people are on here.

SurrealianOctober 7th, 2010 at 11:44 am

And I’d like to add why is everyone saying just to up and quit? Some people have bills and rent to pay. Many people deal with shitty jobs because they have said bills to pay. If they up and quit they would have no income and would probably be evicted. I mean, come on. Not everyone has a ton of money saved up or can get help from friends and family. Are you willing to help them out? If not, shut up and realize that many people are in these situations.

KiOctober 7th, 2010 at 12:17 pm

I’m new here and while I love the stories many of the comments surprise me. I’m a fellow bartender, been doing it for 4 years while putting myself through college, as well. I do feel the need to defend a fellow bartender when people make ignorant comments related to this profession. If you are not a bartender then you have no idea how difficult it is to find a decent bartending position in many places, even the big city. I live in New Orleans, and right now I’m at MVWJ, but I can’t quit, even though I would love to, simply because I can’t afford to do that. Even though I am extremely qualified and have 4 years of experience, I’m having a hell of a time finding a new job. If you aren’t friends with the owners then getting hired is quite a task.

I will say this author of this story should not have gone back but I will assume she realizes her error now and probably believed her boss when he said “okay” when she said she would not put up with his “crap”. But to say there are “other bars”, etc. is ignorant. There are other bars but will you get hired? No. Sure, you say that if you were in the author’s position you would just quit, but would that be wise if that job is your only income? No.

TedOctober 7th, 2010 at 3:51 pm

eat some poop, Surrealian

SurrealianOctober 7th, 2010 at 5:45 pm

Ah, now I see. Ted is not just a dick, but an immature dick.

NurseDreaOctober 7th, 2010 at 6:50 pm

Wow, nice rebuttal ted (rolls eyes)

TedOctober 8th, 2010 at 6:48 am

Make sure to share with Nurse Drea, Surrealian

LenaOctober 8th, 2010 at 1:16 pm

Ted grow up and then go f yourself. Obviously you are one of those obnoxious assholes that we bartenders just love to serve.

Who are you to judge anyone. The OP was young and didn’t know better and what you never had to work at a job you didn’t want to. Wow I bet your resume looks great 6 months here, 3 months there and yea people do put bartending on their resume because not everyone can be a bartender. You have to have great customer service, multi-tasking skills, knowledge of drinks, keep things in order and so much more. Why don’t you shut the hell up and actually say something intelligent for once

NurseDreaOctober 8th, 2010 at 1:23 pm

Maybe you should try some of your own.

OPOctober 8th, 2010 at 4:52 pm

Wow, thanks you guys for sticking up for me. I mean, I know not to stay at a crappy job anymore, but I still put up with it until I find something else. I didn’t quite get why Ted was laughing at my resume comment. He obviously is one of those a**holes that we bartenders deal with. It is a profession as well as a normally good job that helps college students get through school.

@Surrealian, I agree with you. I had bills to pay and could maybe afford one month penny pinching if I had just quit when I got fed up. Everyone is always like “just quit” but are they going to pay my rent and bills?

OPOctober 8th, 2010 at 4:55 pm

Oh and to Ted, yes, it does in fact look very bad on a resume if you just quit jobs at random. My boss throws away resumes from people who only stay at jobs for 3-6months at a time. It shows that you are flaky and unreliable. Which I do believe you are.

NEJanuary 17th, 2011 at 3:52 pm

When did all of this happen? If this was, I don’t know, five years ago and the economy was still good, then yeah, maybe she should have started looking for another job. But the way it’s been the last few years, I completely understand the sentiment that any job is better than the unemployment line. It’s tough out there for young people in or just out of school.

Also, ‘just find another job’ is easy to say, but in actuality finding a job takes a lot of effort – looking through Craigslist (or whatever), sending out resumes, driving all over town to interviews – even in a good economy. And extra time and effort usually aren’t luxuries a college student can afford to waste, with classes and homework. Not to mention paying the bills.

DaveSeptember 6th, 2011 at 10:46 pm

I think Ted was laughing because you either A. leave out a bad job experience you do not want on a resume, or B. lie about the dates you worked, as they never check, and when they do, all they are able to say, by law is “Yes he/she worked here.”

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