Cocked Up Accounting
I am currently employed at MVWJ. I work in the shipping department of an online retail company.
One major rule is not to put items that are very similar into the same bin. Today, someone in stocking decided to break The One Rule and put pink Doc Big Johnson ringed plastic dildos and purple Doc Big Johnson ringed plastic dildos in the same bin. I had to get 21 of them. Twenty-one Doc Big Johnson ringed plastic dildos. Twenty. One.
The 21 dildos I had to pick had to be pink, but there were 20 purple dildos mixed in. I had to separate all of the dildos. So there I was, sitting in the floor with a lap full of dildos. I counted out 18 pink dildos. Three short of how many I needed. Employees must get a supervisor when they have missing items, so I had to leave my giant pile of dildos and get my boss.
Sadly, the only supervisor available was a lady, well into her 40s.
I brought her back and simply pointed at the pile of dildos, ashamed. She sat down and said, “If I’m going to sift through these fake dicks, you’re going to sit down here with me.”
She would hand me one, I would scan it, hand it back to her, and she would put it into the bin. After we determined that I was indeed three dildos short, she had to fill out paperwork saying that I was correct in counting. The paperwork had my name and ID number as well as a line where she had to write in what item was missing. All day, I carried a piece of paper in my back pocket about my dildo shortage. I had to turn it in to another supervisor that night.
Meh. People use sex toys. I would not feel embarrassed at all.
Just inadequate.
So… what was the worst part?
so…where did you hide the three dildos?
What was so bad about that? I’ve had much worse days than that at good jobs.
I can see where you’d be embarrassed, OP, but I must say: Dildos don’t talk, your supervisor didn’t accuse you of theft, what’s the big deal? You didn’t even slip in a piddle of lube or something.
Your job sounds hilarious. You should have arranged a dildo sword fight.
What was the issue? You sound like they were used or something. The comment about the supervisor being a lady makes me think you are a man, so I’m REALLY confused, haha. I mean, you have one of those, just not pink or purple and made of plastic
And I second dildo sword fight.
Lol calm the hell down. That is not a MVWJ. Get a sense of humor and relax.
There was a lot more dildo wrangling in this post than I was expecting…and I kind of always expect a little. And by “expect”, I mean “hope and pray”. Meanwhile, I’ve just discovered reason 578 why one should always cleanse one’s brand-new dildo THOROUGHLY upon removing from packaging.
Hahaha, I think the OP really digs her job and loves laughing at how silly it can be.
I dont know about ya’ll but I found this freakin hilarious. Not nescessarily omg worst. job. ever. But certinly funny as hell
Just someone finding the humor in what they do for a living
Can I just say I want to work there? I would love to count out 18 dildos and that be the worst part of my job. Btw OP do you get a discount on your merchandise? Man what a great job to have. Sorry you are just a prude and boring. LOL
I loved this story. It’s like a story problem gone horribly awry.
zom:
That was a brilliant, penetrating question!
I didn’t think it was a VWJ but I laughed so hard at the storytelling that I don’t care.
All MY fake dicks are purple. This wasn’t a stylistic choice and I literally just now noticed it… I wonder what’s up with that…
It takes two people to verify a dick shortage. Awesome.
What is it about purple being the fake dick color of choice? I mean the fake, Grape Laffy Taffy purple, not the, uh…real shade of skin purple. Gosh. I’m blushing…red though (not purple.)
And, Admins….somehow today’s MVWD and MVWJ have something in common. Coincidence? Or am I just revealing my inner 14 year old boy?
Sorry OP, I just don’t want purple dildos. Pink is the only color I’ll accept.
“If I’m going to sift through these fake dicks, you’re going to sit down here with me.”
Hilarious! That has to be the office quote of the week, if not the year. File under, “Things you never expected to hear at work.”
@ Jeff We’re going to add that as a tag!:) Everyone, can we get your Very Worst Job Stories please? Email us at [email protected]
Call me weird, but a job like that sounds like fun! Gives you some interesting stories to tell later!
I’m with Jeff…I think that is the best line of the whole story! If my supervisor had said that to me, I would have laughed my butt off and probably had a helluva time sorting through the dildos with her.
I think this story is hilarious. Sounds like something that would happen to me. Enjoyed the writing style, too.
gotta agree, i think this one is awesome. that would kind of be my best day at work.
I don’t think this sounds real.
Better to sort them than work with them.