Chain Store Capers
MVWJ at an ice cream chain was a mixed bag; I liked most of the people I worked with, and on many nights we could have work efficiently together and leave confident that we’d done a good job. But If S (manager) or L (wannabe manager) came in the next morning, they would find something, even just a smudge on the glass, to blow out of proportion and claim we left a mess. Both of them fed on drama and would often complain about someone to a coworker only to turn around to the person they complained about and say they were doing great and complain about someone else. Every few weeks they would find someone else to target, and while I knew they were probably just blowing off steam, every time it came around to me it made me anxious.
We worked in a small area so it was common to touch someone gently on the shoulder so they’d know you were there and not back into you, but B would often wrap his hand around girls’ waists and hips as he moved past. He would come up behind me and “hug” me from behind, pressing into me and conveniently getting his hands right under my chest. Whenever I closed with him he would try to get me to lay down with him in the back of his car and talk about sex with our respective significant others. Talking was actually most of what he did, and he would often follow me around the store to brag about how awesome he was while I tried to get everything spotless so S and L wouldn’t freak out.
One girl, H, who always worked very hard and was my favorite person to work with, had a boyfriend that called and came in more and more often to make a scene and shout or throw things. Everyone complained about him, but none of us talked to her about it. One night, the guy tried to kill H and she was severely wounded. I felt awful for not speaking up about the warning signs. The next shift I worked, the prick I worked with had the balls to roll his eyes and go on for quite some time about how she “should’ve known better” and that she was stupid, though he had also never said anything to her about the crazy boyfriend.
I landed a very part time job that worked around my schedule at the store, but S found out and started complaining that I was being sneaky. Having had enough of the drama, I found an on-campus job to start in the fall and finished out the summer. On my last shift S smiled and told me to come back and visit, but I’ll never know whether she meant it or if she started badmouthing me the second I walked out the door.
horrible!
Did you ever find out what happened to poor H?
I would have smiled right back and said “Not on your f**king life!”
H ended up being ok after a stint in the hospital, though she still has some scars and problems bending a few joints that were stabbed
As bad as it is, in situations like that, you telling H about the warning signs probably wouldn’t have done a thing. She’d probably have come up with some excuse as to why he was acting like such a jerk all the time and passed it off. Obviously, no one can know whether or not that would have happened, just don’t beat yourself up over it, OP, you couldn’t have known.
Maybe Avid, but it might have also saved her from getting stabbed. Really tired of people on this website thinking that it’s ok to witness abuse (in whatever form) and not say anything. It’s ok to feel bad about not saying anything as long as you don’t dwell on it. If you missed the signs or didn’t think it was a serious problem that’s one thing, but if you thought it was at the point where physical abuse could arise then yeah, you should absolutely say something. It’s not ok to be quiet.